Disorderly beautiful Truth…whether you want to hear it or not: Life will…eventually break you

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”
— Louise Erdrich (The Painted Drum)

it does not..truly it does not..interest me what you do for a living..I want..no I need to know what you ache for

“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithlessand therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it’s not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.”
— Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Once in your lifetime..you meet someone who can turn your world around

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
— Bob Marley

If I dream at all..I dream about you…

If I dream at all, it would be about you. And I’m not ashamed of it.

As you were sleeping, you said my name. You spoke so clearly, at first I thought you’d woken. But you rolled over restlessly and mumbled my name once more, and sighed. The feeling that coursed through me then was unnerving, staggering. And I knew I couldn’t ignore you any longer

I’ll always want you. Forever.

I told you I’m not going anywhere. Don’t be afraid. As long as it makes you happy, I’ll be here.”
You’re talking about forever, you know.

I love you
You are my life now.

I thought I explained it clearly before. I can’t live in a world where you don’t exist

When I told you I didn’t want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy.

The way I feel about you will never change. Of course I love you – and there’s nothing you can do about it
That’s all I needed to hear

I’m here and I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you.

You
: I’m yours

If you could have anything in the world, anything at all, what would it be?
You
: Something you don’t already have

I promise to love you forever every single day of forever. Will you marry me?
Yes.

: I’ll be back so soon you won’t have time to miss me. Look after my heart – I’ve left it with you.

You’re the only one who’s ever touched my heart. It’ll always be yours.

. Forever means nothing without you. I wouldn’t want one day without you

“I’m here.”
I drew in a deep breath.
That was true. You were here, with his arms around me.
I could face anything as long as that was true.
I squared my shoulders and walked forward to meet my fate, with my destiny solidly at my side.

: “Before you, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars- points of light and reason. And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.”

“You’re incredible.”

: “Forever”
“That’s all I’m asking for.”

: “Easy. You’re more important than everyone else. and you’ve given me you.”

“What did you hear.”
“You said you loved me.”
“You knew that already.”
: “It’s still nice to hear just the same.”

: “I always want you.”

: “Sleep, my baby. Dream happy dreams. You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. It will always be yours. Sleep, my only love.”

Edward: “And the sound of your heart, It’s the most significant sound in my world. I’m so attuned to it now, I swear I could pick it out from miles away. But neither of these things matter. This, You. That’s what I’m keeping. You’ll always be my Baby, you’ll just be a little more durable.”

“You said I could have any part of you I wanted. I want this part. I want every part.”

: “I love you more than anything else in this world combined.”

: “Mostly I dream about being with you forever.”

I could feel his lips at my ear.
“I love you.” he whispered.
“Me, too.”
“I know,” he laughed quietly.
I turned my head slightly…searching. He knew what I was after. His lips touched mine gently.
“Thanks.” I sighed.
“Anytime.”

The music slowed, transforming into something softer, and to my surprise I
detected the melody of his lullaby weaving through the profusion of notes.
“You inspired this one.” he said softly. The music grew unbearably sweet.

The voice of an archangel, soft in my ear.

The great object of life

The great object of life,
is sensation
to feel that we exist,
even in pain

Lord Byron

A visual tribute to……the art of sensuality

Say the word “sensuality” and most people immediately think of sex. Many people confuse the terms sensuality and sexuality, thinking they are synonymous. Certainly, there are areas of overlap: for instance, one might wish to be a sensual lover, to bring one’s sensuality into the lovemaking process, thus combining the sensual with the sexual experience. Sensuality is a key ingredient for richer sexual expression. However, while sensuality seems an essential part of good sex, sexuality is not the only arena for sensual expression. Sensuality is something much broader. Beginning with awareness, sensuality encompasses the exploration and experiencing of all our senses.

A visual tribute to sensuality:

My disorderly beautiful rift on Love and Reciprocity

Love reciprocates. That may sound simple or complex, depending your point of view.

But I don’t know if many people understand that reciprocation is implicit in love.

Love doesn’t necessarily mimic or mirror, but it understands there should be a proportional response when a benefit is received.

Love does not only accept or absorb. Love returns energy, invention, and benefits back in the directions from where it has received.
An immature understanding of love is often evidenced by a person either:

a) not seeing the benefits they have received or
b) not attempting to return similar benefits back in like kind.

Reciprocation is the evidence of love’s existence.

A person should not expect to receive love equal to or in excess of the love they give to others. Most people will make little attempt to return to you anything in proportion to what you give them.

Your friends and lovers will likely reveal themselves to you by their consistent and practical actions that give you desired benefits in proportion to what you have consistently given to them.

Love is not a characteristic like intelligence, aptitude, or beauty. Love is revealed by responsive, considerate, and accurate actions & inferences.
You don’t “have” love. Love is not a possession or characteristic you acquire. You do love.

Love is not an idle attribute. Love is in motion – in thoughts and in movements.

Love is not “potential.” It would be an oxymoron to say, “He has potential to love.” You either do the actions of love or you do not. Love is not like stored up energy. There is no “potential love” like there is “potential energy.”

Love does not exist until it acts.

Love requires intent and conscious efforts.
Reciprocating love to others will not necessarily lead you to receive reciprocal love from them. But it will likely improve your odds of finding a few people who will reciprocate love with you – a shared and equally sustained reward.

And that’s my story and I am sticking with it

~Erospainter

the true currency that is beauty

Beauty has always been a currency, and now that we finally have the technological means to mint our own, what choices do we make?

Is beauty informed by contemporary culture? By history? Or is it defined by the surgeon’s hand? Can we identify physical trends that vary from decade to decade, or is beauty timeless?

When we re-make ourselves, are we revealing our true character, or are we stripping away our very identity?

Perhaps we are creating a new kind of beauty. An amalgam of surgery, art, and popular culture? And if so, are the results the vanguard of human induced evolution?

Tell me whom you haunt…and defining who you are

“Tell me whom you haunt and I’ll tell you who you are.”
— André Breton

Your tongue is a rudder

“Your tongue is a rudder
It steers the whole ship,
Sends your words past your lips,
Or keeps them safe behind your teeth.
But the wrong words will strand you
Come of course while you sleep,
Sweep your boat out to sea
Or dashed to bits on the reef
“
— Play Crack the Sky by Brand New