On the subject of getting it together and loving
Loving someone means helping them to be more themselves, which can be different from being what you’d like them to be, although often they turn out the same. When you ask someone to live through you and for you, they warp like a Japanese tree to suit the relationship which you are, and cease to be what you chose them for, that is, cease to be themselves. So men who are loving like as much as they love, and somehow they find the courage to let their partners grow in the direction they need to grow, even if that contains the risk that they might grow away.
Good people can’t be possessed and those who can one never wants for long. No one gives you security-you have to do that for yourself. Love can’t buy happiness, marriage can’t buy happiness, only happiness can buy happiness, so it is also unwise to think of happiness in terms of roles.
