So next time your guy does something nice for you

Turn to him and say.. ” ah honey that was real sweet of you but you are no…. Ulrich von Lichtensein” His chief work, his autobiography in verse ..Frauendienst [service of his lady] (1255), is a record in verse of a long and convention-bound courtship. His dialogue Frauenbuch (1257) laments the decay of chivalric courtship. Ulrich von Lichtenstein -a well respected Austrian knight whose family founded that european principality bearing his name-swore his love to a high born married princess. Standard practice , for a chivalrous Christian knight. In his autobiography, Frauendienst , he describes some of the acts he performed over fifteen years to show his devoltion to his lady: he stole and drank her bath water, he sent her his pinkie, which he said he lost jousting in her honor(actually he had a friend cut it off..some friend); he mixed with lepers to beg alms from her. So forget about Lancelot and all those Sean Connery and Richard gere remake movies..If you are going to know just one knight make it Ulrich von Lichtenstein, the Inspector Clousseau of chivalrous knights. Ulrich after years of frustration he wanted to conceive a quest to really impress his unnamed lady. So he cross-dressed in a white ball gown as “Frau Venus” and challenged all the knights in Europe to joust with him. Over his five week journey north to battle, Ulrich shattered on average eight lances a day, fighting the cream of Europe. He also took three days off to visit his wifey and kids (most knights were married..and so were the princesses they loved..don’t you hate when that happens..lol). He states he was never unhorsed and won 307 jousts. Eventually after all his noble deeds he finally gained permission to be in the same room with his lady love. After a miserable night shivering outside, she allowed him to sneak into her room in the tower. Her husbad nwas in another part of the castle…Three times he was hoisted up in a coverlet and three times he crashed back to the ground. Finally he let his servant go up who was lighter and he went up first and when he got to the top he was greeted with a warm kiss. Ulrich, upon arriving was greeted by his beloved surrounded by eight stalwart handmaidens. When he protested about the crowd she gave him yet another task: spend the night waist deep in a nearby lake. As the handmaidens lowered him out of the window, the princess leaned over to give him a kiss. Ulrich let go of the windowsill to give her an embrace and he fell into the moat. After fifteen long years , Ulrich finally chose another lady fair and true…such are the ways of love…. So next time that Prince of a guy of yours ….says “Boy honey …you won the lottery when you started dating/married me” turn to him and with your sweetess most coy fair maiden look..bat your eye lashes and say “yes baby but you are no… Ulrich von Lichtenstein”

~ by disorderlybeautifulchaos on December 4, 2010.